In a world that often focuses on fixing weaknesses, strength-based parenting stands out as a powerful, positive approach for raising confident, resilient, and happy children. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with my child?” strength-based parenting asks, “What is right with my child?” and then builds on those strengths to help them thrive.
Why Strength-Based Parenting Matters
Research shows that children raised with a focus on their unique talents and character strengths, achieve higher academic success, experience less stress and enjoy greater overall wellbeing. They are also more likely to develop and maintain positive relationships, contribute positively to their communities and face challenges with resilience and optimism.
Strength-based parenting is not about giving false or excessive praise. Rather it is noticing and nurturing what your child does well, whether that is a talent in music, sports, technology, or a character strength like kindness, curiosity, or perseverance.
How to Discover Your Child’s Strengths
1. Observe and Listen
- Watch your child in action: What activities do they naturally gravitate toward? What makes them light up?
- Listen to their stories: Ask about their day and pay attention to what excites or frustrates them.
2. Encourage Exploration
- Provide opportunities: Let your child try different activities, hobbies, and interests.
- Expose your child to different things like drama, music, coding, languages, writing and more.
- Support their curiosity: Encourage them to ask questions and seek out new experiences.
3. Model empathy by listening and valuing different perspectives. Show that confidence comes from understanding, not just from speaking up.
- Fascinate Advantage® and similar tools: These frameworks can help you and your child identify innate talents and character strengths.
- Personality Dimensions® family strengths mapping: Create a family profile of strengths and display it at home to remind everyone of their unique contributions.
Note: Fascinate Advantage® and Personality Dimensions® are registered trademarks.
How to Nurture and Develop Strengths
1. Give Specific, Genuine Feedback
- Acknowledge effort and progress: “I noticed how you kept trying even when it was hard. That’s called perseverance.”
- Highlight character strengths: “You were really kind to your friend today. That is one of your superpowers!”
2. Create Opportunities to Use Strengths
- Assign roles at home: Let your child take on tasks that align with their strengths, such as organizing family outings, leading a project, doing chores, or helping others.
- Encourage problem solving: When challenges arise, ask, “What strengths can you use to help with this?”
3. Model Strengths-Based Thinking
Share your own strengths and challenges: Talk about how you use your strengths at work or at home. Celebrate family strengths: Make it a habit to recognize and appreciate each other’s unique contributions in your family.
4. Organizing for Success: A Strengths-Based Family Plan
For parents who value structure and planning, strength-based parenting can be even more effective with a clear plan. Here’s how to create a strengths-based family plan:
- Set Family Goals: Identify one or two strengths each family member wants to focus on this month. Write down specific ways you will practice and celebrate those strengths.
- Create a Strengths Calendar: Schedule regular “strengths check-ins” to reflect on progress and celebrate successes.
- Assign Roles and Responsibilities: Give each family member a role that aligns with their strengths.
- Track Progress: Keep a chart or journal to record moments when each person used their strengths.
Try This:
If you love planning and organization, create a “strengths toolkit” for your family. Include
a list of everyone’s top strengths, ideas for how to use them, and a schedule for regular
strengths-based activities.
Tailoring Your Approach: Parenting for All Personality Types
Every family is unique, and so is every child. Here’s how strength-based parenting
can be tailored to fit your family’s personality:
- Authentic Blue (Empathy, Connection): Focus on building strong relationships and emotional connections. Encourage your child to express their feelings and support others.
- Resourceful Orange (Action, Adventure): Provide plenty of opportunities for hands-on activities and new experiences. Celebrate your child’s energy, creativity, and willingness to try new things.
- Inquiring Green (Curiosity, Analysis): Support your child’s love of learning and questioning. Encourage them to explore new ideas and reflect on their experiences.
- Organized Gold (Structure, Responsibility): Help your child thrive by creating routines, setting goals, and tracking progress. Celebrate their reliability, attention to detail, and commitment.
Note: Authentic Blue, Resourceful Orange, Inquiring Green and Organized Gold are the
trademarks of Career/LifeSkills Resources Inc.
The Benefits of Strength-Based Parenting
- Increased confidence and self-esteem: Children who know their strengths feel more capable and valued.
- Better coping skills: Strength-based parenting helps children manage stress and bounce back from setbacks.
- Improved relationships: Children learn to appreciate and respect the strengths of others, fostering empathy and teamwork.
- Greater academic and life success: Focusing on strengths leads to higher engagement, better grades, and a more positive outlook on life.
A Strength-Based Parenting Challenge
Try this for one week:
- Notice one strength in your child each day and comment on it.
- Ask your child to name a strength they used that day.
- Reflect together on how those strengths helped them navigate challenges or celebrate successes.
Conclusion: Take Your Parenting to the Next Level
Strength-based parenting is a journey, not a destination. By focusing on your child’s unique talents and character strengths, you help them build a strong foundation for a fulfilling, productive, and happy life. Remember, it is never too late to start, and the benefits will ripple through your family for years to come.
Would you like to take your parenting to the next level? If you’d like personalized support or want to bring strength-based parenting workshops to your school, community, or organization, I’m here to help!
Book a private session or learn more about group workshops by reaching out to me directly. Let’s work together to empower your child and family. Are you ready to help your child shine? Start by discovering and celebrating their strengths today.
References
Gallup, Inc. Copyright © Gallup, Inc.
Harvard Business Review® Copyright © Harvard Business Publishing. Harvard
Business Review® is a registered trademark of Harvard University
Fascinate Advantage®. Copyright ©2015–2022 Sally Hogshead and How to
Fascinate®. Fascinate Advantage® is a registered trademark of How to Fascinate
Personality Dimensions®. Copyright © Career/LifeSkills Resources Inc.
Full Focus Planner®. Copyright © Michael Hyatt & Company, LLC.
John C. Maxwell®. Copyright © The John Maxwell Company, LLC.
Greater Good Science Center. Copyright © Greater Good Science Center.
SOW Knox. Copyright © SOW Knox.
Lea Waters. Copyright © Lea Waters.
American SPCC, An Introduction to Strength-Based Parenting
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